Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
