They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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