Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
too bad you live with your parents still
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
