What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
