i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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