I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
