yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I could make wine with my vomit
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
