She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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