thus making me awesome and them whores
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
