awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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