he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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