I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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