All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
