Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize