just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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