Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
