It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
