For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
