operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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