i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
