Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm both gender and math confused
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
