Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
All I want is dick and wine.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
