New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Welp...herpes.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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