I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
