my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
