Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
