I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize