Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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