saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
