i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
