What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
