Got a toothbrush?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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