Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
We are two peas in an std pod
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize