I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
