Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
