Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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