There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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