I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
