im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
