No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
