he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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