Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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