when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
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