I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize