so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
