People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
