You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
