2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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