i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
