he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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