guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
