school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
