I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
