yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
