Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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