im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
