Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
