the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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