1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
