Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
