What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
