hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
