NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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