Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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