I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
