I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
