He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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