There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
