somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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