trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Two words: nipple clamps
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