I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
