did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
