with your own penis?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
