Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
