sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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