shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
