so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
