i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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